feeling much better....

Hello!!! so I'm quite happy today =D
I bought a bunch of makeup.... well it was three things, all from MAC
Paints in Canton Candy
Two eyeshadows in.... I'll update later, but the look the makeup artist did was so amazingly cute =D It's all pink and it's like all the bright shades of pink. I'm gonna go back for the hot pink as soon as i get money =D I have 7 bucks for that, I just need 6 more which shouldn't be too hard =D

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So I'm happy about that and also, I've finally started working on school stuff which makes me really happy too cause it makes time go faster, keeps my mind off the depressing stuff in life and keeps my energy up cause I feel productive =D
I've been listening to the radio a lot these days and I just heard something today that made me really happy and kinda justified everything that's happened.... in the end, in relationships everyone's looking for the same thing. But the divorce rate is 54% and that means that people don't value relationships enough.... a lot of people have children because they think it will save their marriage, it won't and it'll put your kids through pain. Why get into a relationship when only one side is willing to try? there's so much more to life. On the radio, they were talking about how couples snoop in each others things to catch their significant other doing something bad. Why would you do that? clearly it means that you don't trust the person and whether you find something or not, you shouldn't be with them. Why would you speculate and put your heart at risk? Why would you stay in a relationship with someone you don't trust? I know my ex lied to me and it hurts, but we're not together anymore.... he doesn't have any obligation in telling me the truth. I don't have any obligation either... I just do it cause I don't like lying. It hurts to be lied to, but in the end, the guilt of lying to someone is greater and if he doesn't feel the guilt, he shouldn't be with me anyway.... I'll still give him the time of day cause it doesn't hurt to talk to people.

Every time I study, I tell the truth, I do what's right, I do something good, I'm reminded that I'm doing something good for myself.... even if the person affected by my actions doesn't appreciate or realize it, I feel happy and it makes life worth living. I have a lot of growing to do, but life is a growing process. I also learned that there's plenty of fish in the sea.... if you get what I mean. I can look at it this way..... less and less people are getting married these days.... more single people, so that means that I might be part of the majority and it's not gonna be like little me sitting in the corner watching everyone dance while picking at my food.... lol. I think that a lot of this emotional stuff has to do with the way we see the world. The world's not that bad when you do things for yourself and you remember that ultimately everything you do affects you. I never used to put so much emphasis on relationships because I never experienced one.... but now that I have, I don't really know what to think anymore.... I think they help you grow, even though they bring pain and trouble, you learn a lot. I learned that the dating process is a process of weeding out the wrong guys.

As my friend said, everyone's messed up... you just have to find the right kind of messed up for you.

The new year is coming and I don't want to dwell.... I'm gonna start the new year off fresh. Chinese New Year for me is the new year I celebrate.